Love is Cruel, Chapter 12 of 13

[hrhrionastar]

Title: Love is Cruel: Mutual Possession
Pairing: Richard/Nicci (background Richard/Kahlan, Rahl/Kahlan/Cara)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 945
Spoilers: whole series
Summary: Post-Tears, Richard wakes up to find he's not at the Pillars of Creation anymore...and someone very familiar is in the cell next door. Written for madmguillotine, on seekerrarepair.

 

Mutual Possession

Nicci bit her tongue on all the things she was dying to say about the Mother Confessor. She was smart enough to know that voicing them could only make Richard angry at her, and would make neither she nor Richard feel any better.

The two of them set up camp in silence, around the Wizard, who was asleep, a conjured blanket tucked lovingly around him by Richard.

Nicci had picked a good place; she thanked the Creator for the gentle stream nearby, the sheltered clearing, and the deserted landscape. If there were any banelings still killing for the Keeper, they weren’t here making a nuisance of themselves.

Then she wondered why she was thanking the Creator, who had never done anything for her.

Her thoughts chased one another as she mechanically made dinner from the results of Richard’s hunting and foraging. She was surprised he’d been able to find so much. Without magic (and even with it), she would have been hard-pressed to do the same.

Nicci didn’t know whether she should be on her knees thanking the Creator for the Mother Confessor’s betrayal of Richard, or scheming desperately to get the Mother Confessor back.

She couldn’t bear the look of defeat in Richard’s eyes. Knowing what he’d suffered, she would do anything to bring that sweet, naïve smile back to his face.

Even save the Mother Confessor, if she only knew how.

She truly was a fool.

“I’m sorry,” Nicci said awkwardly, when the silence was too much for her.

She reached out toward Richard, but her fingers curled under at the last moment. The fire flickered. The Wizard turned over in his sleep and let out a snore.

The light dancing over Richard’s face made shadows of what he would look like as an old man. It only made Nicci love him more.

“Thank you,” Richard said at last. “But don’t be. I thought I knew who she was, but…a part of me will always belong to her.”

Nicci understood that. She could never let go of anything. All her ghosts clamored at her, but Richard was more important. She ignored them.

“Nicci,” Richard touched her chin, gently, so that her eyes met his. “Kahlan is my past. But you are in my heart.”

And he looked at her with such heartbreaking hesitancy that Nicci could resist no longer. A part of him would always love the Mother Confessor—but she was not such a fool as to reject what he could give her.

Nicci reached out, gently tracing the curve of Richard’s jaw. When her lips met his, she closed her eyes.

She was remembering the first time she’d kissed Richard. He’d called her a monster.

He was probably right. If he pulled away, she would know.

But Richard kissed her back.

Nicci’s heart raced, and her fingers twisted in Richard’s hair, and her skin tingled all over—

And a tiny bubble of smug satisfaction seemed to surround her heart.

 

 

Richard had never felt so confused in his life.

Kahlan’s betrayal stung. At the same time, surely he deserved that she should hate him?

But that was hardly cause for her to suddenly abandon all her principles and help the very tyrant she’d spent her life working to defeat.

After two years and multiple quests, both large and small, Richard couldn’t believe how little he understood Kahlan.

He didn’t suppose he would ever stop wondering—but she’d made her choice.

Maybe she was happier this way.

Richard thought of the two women in his life while he hunted and skinned the rabbit for Nicci.

Nicci might not be an open book to him either—but Richard knew she wasn’t about to declare her allegiance to Darken Rahl.

A reluctant smile tugged at Richard’s lips, when he thought of Nicci.

She’d really come through—helping him try and rescue Kahlan and Cara, who didn’t want to be saved.

He knew that if Zedd were feeling better, he would warn Richard not to trust Nicci. Say she was evil, they had no proof she’d even stopped serving the Keeper, and wasn’t Kahlan Richard’s only love?

They ate in silence; Richard checked on Zedd, but his grandfather was still lost to the world—even the smell of cooking food hadn’t served to wake him. Richard tucked the blanket closer around him, feeling worried.

Nicci spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Richard was surprised. “Thank you, but don’t be,” he said, staring into those eyes, glowing with sympathy. “I thought I knew who she was, but…” he tried to explain. “A part of me will always belong to her.” When Nicci looked down at her hands, at that, Richard made her look up. This was important. “Nicci. Kahlan is my past, but you are in my heart.”

He willed her to understand what he meant, aware that, if he were making any sense at all by this point, it was more than he had any right to expect.

And she kissed him. Richard clutched her to him—she was like water and fire in his arms—

Zedd snored, and Richard pulled away from Nicci for a moment, his hands cradling her face, looking toward the sleeping wizard. Zedd seemed more peaceful now.

“I love you,” Nicci whispered, and Richard, looking at her, knew what she meant. She was saying, I love you, but also, you’re mine.

Richard smiled fiercely, liking the idea that they belonged together. He was hers—and she was his. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

And Richard pulled Nicci away from the fire, for the illusion of privacy. Her breathing matched his, and he half-carried her—not too far. Just far enough.


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